I know, it’s been ages since I’ve written here. I’m not proud of that. I believe regular writing is one of the hallmarks of an active, healthy mind. And while I could make many excuses as to why I haven’t written, I won’t, as such words would waste my time and the time of anybody reading this blog.
I feel like I have to summarize, to look back and to reminisce a bit about 2011, not because I so much believe in the human invention of “time”, but because I feel it is good to take stock of what one has or hasn’t been doing with one’s life from time to time, and why not use a made up “end of the year” for just such a taking of stock?
A few really huge things happened to/ for/ around me in 2011. First, the continuation of the most sane, healthy loving relationship I’ve been in should be mentioned. Richard and I entered our second year of partnership together, and while that term may sound a bit “business-like”, I believe it’s one of the ultimate compliments that can be bestowed upon a relationship, for what better thing for a relationship to be than a true partnership? Richard started graduate school, advanced his career at Montrose Counseling Center, and now has progressed as a Thelemite and as a member of the EGC, or Eclessia Gnostica Catholica, and is in fact officiating his first Thelemic Wedding in but eight days.
Richard and I (along with newly-acquired roommate Anthony) said goodbye to the shithole that was 712 Columbia, and moved into a lovely, contemporary three-bedroom Archstone property right on the dividing line between the Heights and Montrose. Such a fantastic change! Central air, free gym, two giant pools, go figure!
Artistically, 2011 has been an incredibly busy year with some of the most extreme ups and downs my life in the arts has ever taken. First, in addition to the regular voice work I am fortunate and blessed enough to keep scoring, I started off the year in a production of The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, as Leaf Coneybear. Maybe due to the shows surprisingly complex score, and the fact that it was light fare tinged with just the right amount of cynicism, this experience really ended up touching me and leaving a large impression on my psyche, that would actually play out through the coming months of the year. Also, in the spring, I played the lead in the most difficult live piece I’ve ever tackled in my life, called Asylum. This was a three-hour show, in which my character never left the stage, except transitionally, and had a line-load that could possibly make Hamlet’s head spin. It was one of the few times in my life where the cliche’ question “how did you learn ALL THOSE LINES?” actually sounded rational. It was an exhausting ordeal, a trial, an initiation, and an amazing experience. I was also given accolades in the form of great reviews and even a local award for either best actor or best performance or some such… Anyway, it was an important milestone for me, as I’ve tackled large, difficult roles, but nothing like Gary in Asylum. I also gained new voiceover clients, and even voiced a couple of leads in Anime again, as dubbing has picked up again over at Aesir Media.
And of course, I must speak of one of the great heartbreaking debacles of my life, Aeon Theatrix. A… I suppose I should say former friend of mine and I tried… to start a theatre company… ( god it feels weird writing about this )… It really ended up being three of us, two of which ( myself included ) were strictly involved with the Artistic side of the operation. Almost everything was in place. We had great buzz, had very successful auditions, had assembled some of the strongest casts that could be imagined for the shows we’d chosen, and I was set to direct two of these shows, both of which I knew, KNEW I was going to hit out of the park, especially with the talent we had. But, due to… what? I don’t know, in the end, exactly what happened, still… There are certain words I can’t use because they are too accusatory, or inflammatory, and I don’t keep this blog to bad mouth anyone, but… I’ll just say that money was mismanaged and not properly raised. Not nearly enough was raised, that’s for sure. So much happened so fast, and so much of it was good, that we the artists either did not or could not see the financial shitstorm that was brewing, and before our first production could even make it past week one of rehearsals, the entire thing crumbled, fell to the ground, shattered, and dissolved, taking with it the hearts, hopes and dreams of about thirty individuals. For my part, I was near catatonia for about a week. I shut myself in my bedroom and didn’t speak to anybody except Richard. Everything felt like effort, even getting out of bed. I felt as if a part of me had been ripped from my body and thrown into a grinder. It was like the worst breakup of my life. I was emotionally and mildly physically sick with the whole turn of events.
from these ashes must rise a Phoenix, and it seems that everybody involved, as far as I know, has moved on to something else, and I hope to something greater and more fulfilling than the failure we drug them, and ourselves, through.
My voice work has picked up, and there are great theatrical opportunities on the rise. I’m excited. Aeon is behind me, but remains a scar on my psyche that may never fully disappear.
As the year turned darker and cooler, things intensified for me spiritually, as well. I’ve had some great times with the OTO, including one very special Jupiterian ritual that amounted to a fantastic night with Brothers and Sisters in Austin. Lest I forget… I also, in 2011, became an Honored Guest of the OTO, taking my Minerval this past summer. An amazing experience that I unfortunately cannot write about, except to say that it left an indelible mark on me, and whether or not I go ahead with the Order itself, I feel a little more touched by Magick and the 93 Current, and I know I’m a better, more whole person because of the experience.
And now, as 2011 is but hours away from ending, I’m in the middle of a full career revivification, I’ve completely changed my diet to one of low sugar and high protein, things with Richard are fantastic, and even though I totaled our car but a week ago, we already have a new (and arguably better) one, so I say goodbye to, and make my peace with, the Ford, and move forward into 2012 with the Kia as my conveyance.
I sense in 2012 a great amount of manifesting, discovery, happiness and joy unparalleled. And I wish this for all, even if you’re a supporter of Ron Paul and watch Jesse Ventura’s Conspiracy Theory show!
93s and big love!